They always say that women's hormones are slightly irrational, off, or just plain crazy while you're pregnant. Well I'm not sure if this story will help solve that theory or not. So let me just tell you, my husband and i are very much Christian believers. We believe all things are done through Christ. It's important to keep this in your mind as I tell you this story because it might come into question later.
If you are pregnant or have ever been pregnant you know that frequent urination is a time honored tradition. Lucky for us this doesn't stop in the middle of the night. No! No! We get to pull our big pregnant selves into an upright position after we have just fallen asleep. *I feel like I should win an award when I wake up. I just fought off acid reflux and won! I just battled with my unborn child of who can be more stubborn to find a comfy position to sleep in. (Do you ever really win at this one?) I'm getting off track...It's the middle of the night and i need to go...So I wake up for the 3rd time to go to the bathroom. Now let me just say I'm already slightly irritated to be getting up again. But I pull myself into an upright position and with my hands out I feel my way to the bathroom going through the maze in my mind as to avoid the land mines in our bedroom...step to the left-miss the vanity, not too far-watch the bed frame, back to the right-miss the ottoman. I have become quite good at it since I do this 5 or 6 times a night. Let me just tell you, my level of agitation grows each time i have to get up...in my mind it has to be DH fault...if he only knew what i go through while being preggo. (yep, thats what im thinking at the time) It's annoying to walk through your bedroom like you are going through an obstacle course blindfolded because it is so damn dark in your room...why hasn't DH put a night light in here?All the while your DH is sound asleep snoring away...are you kidding me? So my mood is less than chipper. I finally make it out of the maze from hell to the bathroom and sit down. WET! Now, we all know that feeling. We all know what it is. We all know who it's from. Ooh, I'm gonna get him. When you are in a fit of rage there is no reasoning. Nope! None! Instead of cutting the poor guy some slack from working long days and putting up with his pregnant wife, I was planning out how I was going to lecture him until his ears bled in the morning. I was gonna get him good. "I think I will start with, I didn't get myself pregnant." It would be my best lecture ever. As my mind wandered to my speech I headed out of the bathroom back into the bedroom of doom but my rage is keeping me from really doing my best at maneuvering the obstacle course. I cleared the ottoman but as I was figuring out a conclusion to my over the top, lecture from hell I came in direct contact with the bed frame which made a loud rattle and startles DH. I mean I nailed the bed frame like a punter kicks a football.
The next part of the story I'm not proud of. Even as I type I'm still hoping I will get a pardon with God.
Me: Oh, ****!!!!
DH: UH, OH! (Still asleep and yelling)
Me: Mother ******
DH: UH, OH! (Still asleep and yelling)
Me: OW!, ssssshhhhhh
DH: UH, OH! (Still asleep and yelling)
Me: Shut up!! Ssssshhhhhh
DH: UH, OH! (Starting to wake up) Turn on the light. (Now, back to sleep)
Me: No, I'm fine...if you wouldn't have peed on the seat this wouldn't have happened.
Yep, that's right I took it there. In my moment of rage I blamed my poor, innocent, and unconscious DH for making me kick the bed. And to be honest, it felt good to get it out even if he was asleep and didn't hear it. *Remember my opening remarks? Now is a good time to review those.
Do you see the red mark? No? Well this doesn't make any sense. I could have sworn my foot was gushing blood or at least broken.
I love my DH! Sometimes I don't know why he puts up with me. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment