Kinder Quote of the Day

"You look kinda nice today Mrs. Burns (that's what she calls me)." ---student lets call her Darlene

"Oh, do I?"---me

"Yeah, kinda."--Darlene

Gee thanks! 

9:30am

"Mrs. Burns I'm afraid it's happened. I had an accident. I tried to get to the bathroom but it just came too fast."--Darlene

Looking at her pants I saw no signs of an accident.

"Was it a potty accident?"--me

"Yep!"

Sent her to the nurse. 

30 minutes later door flies open and Darlene's mom shouts from the doorway.

"Sorry Mrs. Burns (not you too) Darlene has been constipated and I guess it just all came out at once."

"Oh, ok"--me

Little boy on the carpet..."whose Mrs. Burns?"

3:00pm

Darlene comes walking in from the bathroom crying. 

"Darlene, did it happen again?"--me

"Yes, I must still be sick. It's just comes out fast."

#poorgirl #goingtovomit #passthehandsanitizer #iloveteachingkindergarten

Why Can't Weight Come Off Like It Comes On?

Today is weigh in day! I'm down 3.8lbs! Yahoo! 

Nothing Tastes As Good As Being Skinny Feels...that's some crap! Wine and snickers tastes pretty darn good!

This is the worst picture of me but I have to document my weight loss journey. 

I'm also sitting in a closet "working out". Ok, so I might be pumping but it's pretty much like working out. Anytime I want to eat something bad I can come to this post and it will motivate me to eat some carrots instead of having 3 brownies like I did during my birthday week. Whoops! 

We All Have That One Friend

Unfortunately, I am that friend! I thought that baby brain was supposed to go away as soon as you have the baby. In my case it has gotten worse. In the past 5 days I have...

*While taking my last drink of water, I lose the grip on the bottle and hurled it towards my lunch partner. Spilling water on my shirt and all over the table.

*You know how you have a flip lid on the to go coffee cups? If you tip it too far back the lid touches the bridge of your nose. Therefore, I walked around with coffee on my nose for most of the day. Until a sweet coworker told me. Did I mention she didn't tell me until after lunch. :)

*Trying to hook up my pumping contraption is easy but when you are in a time crunch it gets tricky. Before school starts I have less than 15 minutes to hook up, pump, cleanup and get my milk to the fridge. Well unless i want my kiddos to get an education on how mammals feed their young. To say its a rush is an understatement. This morning as I was trying to attach the tubing into the bottle I looked like an amateur juggler.  Bottles were flying!

The best for last...

*Teachers know that time at the copy machine is valuable.  We stand around it like a pack of wolves ready to devour a juicy piece of meat. This morning I headed into the office to fight for my turn at the machine. I saw the most glorious sight. Not a teacher in sight. No one to stand behind you and sigh. No one to ask if they could interrupt to make just 1 copy. No one to say, "Not to rush you but how many more do you have?"  I had a little skip in my step as I headed over to take my turn. Until...I tripped over something on the floor (I could have sworn there was something on the floor). I hit the machine with a big bear hug. I then slid down the machine like a bird hitting a window and sliding all the way down. I quick popped up before anyone saw me and that's when I realized my knee and ankle hurt. Darn it, i was hoping I to escape from injury. I was in pain but all I could do was laugh. Mainly because not one teacher saw me. Heard me? Yes. Saw me? No! Even though I had to walk with a limp...Me:1 Copy Machine:0

"Instead of thinking of yourself as a klutz. Think of yourself as a performance artist." Unknown

To My Husband

Thank you Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

*Thank you for making it possible for my husband and I to be together.

*Thank you for making it possible to marry the love of my life. (Kansas never had a law against it but so many other states did.) 

*Thank you for showing people that love is the only way.

*Thank you for allowing my son to one day go to a school with people of all colors.

*Thank you for teaching us "to judge not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."-MLK

I Have a Dream...

*i have a dream that one day C and I can see more smiles from the strangers that we meet instead of glares and eye rolls that we are often greeted with. 

*i have a dream that no one will use the word disgusting when describing our marriage

*i have a dream that my son will never be called one of the insulting names that they refer to children of interracial couples.

*i have a dream that our girls will remember that love is the most important thing in a marriage and not race.

*i have a dream that our daughters and son will remember that their parents taught them tolerance of others.

To my husband....

Thank you for never seeing the color of my skin.

Thank you for never letting the opinions of others deter you from loving me. 

Thank you for going along with me and pretending we didn't hear the mean comments from others. Thank you for marrying me. 

Thank you for giving me a beautiful baby boy. 

Thank you for making me a step mother to two beautiful daughters. 

Thank you for being my best friend. 

Thank you for bringing me closer to God. 

Thank you for listening to my needs and working your hardest to meet them.

Thank you for being the best father to our children!

Thank you for being you!

You Should Be a Comedian!

"Liz, come here. Do you see anything in the bathroom?" Ok, with men you never know where this is going. I open the door and flip on the lights. There it sits all tucked up in my flowers, another SQUIRREL. I jump. Big sis lets out a small shriek. What the? It's strangely still. It's not moving...AT ALL! 

We then turn around to see C giggling.

 It's a potato!

 He is very creative!

MEN! They think they are ssssoooo funny!

SQUIRREL!!!!

My favorite movie is Christmas vacation. Isn't it hilarious when the squirrel falls down their chimney? That furry little animal busts out of the little doors, and runs onto the table knocking off all of the picture frames and vase of flowers. Leaving a destruction of rose petals, leaves, fur, and paper. Before finding its cozy spot under the little girls pillows. Oh, that's not National Lampoons Christmas Vacation. That happened in the Burton household tonight.

Boy, how the girls jumped when they their pillow started moving. They slowly pulled back the pillow and out jumped the squirrel.  It chased the little girls through the house. All you can hear are screams through their sniffles and sobs. One of the girls screamed so loud it broke a blood vessel and blood came streaming out her nose. We finally locked the girls plus Baby E in the nursery while daddy and I chased it out. I was armed with a broom, C was armed with a sheet. Hey, it was all we could find. It ran behind the china cabinet...I beat it out. It ran under the chair...I beat it out. It finally came to rest up inside our couch. C strong man lifted the couch up and over towards the door. We finally called in the designated hitter. He stood beating the couch like a professional baseball player until the squirrel jumped down out of the couch and ran out the door, not before giving us the finger. 

Really?

 Get the h**** out!

The bright side...I got to clean under my couch

Nothing like feeding your baby brother baby to calm you down after a terrifying ordeal.

Still a little shaken up. 

C said don't even think about taking my picture right now! O-K!

We are calling a chimney sweep in the morning. "Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?"

Sorry...not sorry

Sorry I haven't been on my blog lately.  If you are wondering why I haven't been on  it's because my son is keeping me very busy between nursing and pumping. If you don't believe me take a look below.

3 days old!

My healthy 11 week old baby boy...  He has doubled his size.

We love you chunky monkey! Keep on chowing down lil man.

1st Week is a Wrap

We made it! On Monday I didn't think I would but I can now say I'm a working mom. After the first day, drop off got relatively easy and it just became routine. I love Baby E's babysitter. Every time i go to pick him up he is a happy boy. Miss Connie is amazing and here is why.... She sends pictures throughout the day, she loves baby E, she volunteered to keep him until the end of school, she does anything I ask (tummy time, reading, playing, etc.), my big boy loves her! 

Here are a few of Miss Connie's pictures she sent:

Baby E and I made it through the week virtually unscathed but I'm not sure the same can be said for Miss Connie and maybe even her husband. This is the text I received from Miss Connie's daughter.

Baby E we are supposed to be on our best behavior so we get asked back! I guess when a boys gotta go a boys gotta go. Thank you Miss Connie for taking such good care of my baby and acting like his blowouts are a piece of cake! We love you already.

Yahoo!

6 weeks after Baby E was born i started Weight Watchers. It might have been stupid to start right before Christmas! Oops! I kind of hovered around the same weight for the month of December. You are welcome for the free money weight watchers. So this is my first weigh in week. I lost 9.4! As in 9.4 pounds! As in 9.4 pounds of fat off my body. Praise Jesus! Now I just need to drop about 1000 more. 

I won't lie this isn't my first time at losing weight. In fact I have done weight watchers 4 times before. 

Before

 After

That was my Junior/Senior year of high school. Oh, to be young and lose 40lbs in 3months.

In fact I'm quite the yo-yo dieter. Right now I'm working my tail off and i decided that this is my last time of doing this. So beware...if you offer me a doughnut I will chop your arm off. :) don't say I didn't warn you.

No Boys Allowed!

TURN AROUND MEN...TMI!

Since I'm a working, breast feeding mom I get to pump before school, during lunch, planning time, and at recess. So needless to say my Medela and I are best of friends. I might be getting a little too close to my breast pump. After a long day of frustrating pumping i heard my pump trying to cheer me up,  "It's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's fun... " Thanks for the effort! Does that make me crazy that my pump is talking to me? 

This woman looks way too happy to be pumping at work. Rest assured this is not what I look like. 

My milk supply is good but im not very good at pumping so I have been trying lots of tricks. Relax, feet up, stare at a picture of Baby E, warm cloth, massage, comfy chair, etc... Nothing is working. It's not as easy as it looks. Who knew you could be bad at having milk squeezed from your body. I only get about 4 or 5 oz after each session.  If you have any suggestions leave them in the comments below. I'm willing to try pretty much anything. 

I Hate Goodbyes!

I made it through my first day back to work since October 4. It was so good to see all my coworkers. I really missed being at work.To be honest i was really dreading it. 

Getting myself to school was the hardest part...

Before Drop Off:

If you know me you know I'm sensitive, sentimental, and emotional. I was drinking my coffee and was watching my sweet boy in his swing. I just started bawling. I never knew I could love something so much. I didn't want to be away from him. I just knew that it was going to be a terrible day. Big E knew it too.

Drop off:

Miss A met us at the door. I fed him, snuggled him, and gave him lots of kisses. Before I left, she surprised me with a gift card to go buy myself a cup of coffee to cheer me up. Miss A is awesome. She is actually a para at my school but since she didn't have to report today she looked after Baby E. His actual babysitter can't watch him this week so Miss A's mom is kind enough to keep him. 

Drive in to work:

My sis called to see how I was doing. The whole 15 minute drive she told me funny stories about my crazy niece. It helped...no tears. My favorite...L was fighting with the dog! Hilarious!!

At work:

Walking in everyone greeted me with open arms. It had been 3 months since I had seen everyone. I immediately got to work so I wouldn't focus on missing my baby. Miss A sent a few pictures through out the day. Which was a welcomed treat! 

Waking up long enough to give Miss A a stinky treat.

 Sucking his thumb.

Happy boy!

After work:

I couldn't drive fast enough. *Don't worry mom I followed the speed limit. As soon as I got there it was much like drop off. I fed him, snuggled him, and kissed him all over. I was so glad to see that sweet face.  I don't even think Baby E knew I was gone. Thanks to my husband, son, friends, and family I think I will make it through.

Together again! 

Fat is an Ugly Word...Full Figured

I can hardly believe that Baby E had no clothes to wear when he came home from the hospital that he didn't swim in. He was so tiny. In fact he wore his shirt from the hospital for a few weeks.

My big boy just turned 2 months old on 1-3-14. I almost waited too long to get out his 3 month clothes. They fit perfectly but not for long.

I love my chunky monkey! 

OH, the Agony!

Yesterday was a very traumatic day for not only Baby E but his momma as well.  My sweet boy had to get his 2 month shots. The screaming and crying from the shot didnt really bother me. (That sounds terrible.) 

However, the bottom lip out and whimpering as he is staring at me, hurt my heart. He was looking at me like I had betrayed him. His poor little legs were so sore. Baby Tylenol helped Baby E get some relief and much needed sleep. 

It's a good thing he forgave me. (I'm his food supply so he didn't have much choice.) But he gave lots of snuggle time to his bruised mom. It helped us both recover.

The good news...We get to do it all over again in 2 months. Oh boy! 

Aunt Kiki gave some perspective..."everyone gets shots." In other words suck it up and get over it. So that's what this momma will do. Well at least until the next one. ;)

My Baby is 2 Months Old!

You Gotta Start Somewhere

Ok, so I have never had much style. I do love clothes. I can appreciate a woman who has great style. I can even recognize great style. I just don't have that talent to be able to put an outfit together for myself. I recently started following a blog, "What Courtney Wore". Now normally I don't follow fashion blogs but I love this one because she wears clothes that the average woman can wear. Maybe not the expensive labels but you can always find a good knockoff that's close. 

Since I was on bed rest for a month before Baby E was born and sweat pants and no makeup was the norm I care more now what I look like. Since going and spending money on clothes for myself isn't really an option (can we potty train at 2 months so we can quit buying diapers?) I'm going to have to use what I got. The good...I have options. The bad...I'm not pre pregnancy weight. The ugly...I have clothes in lots of different sizes. Can you say yo yo dieter?

Here is my terrible style from the last 10 years and why I need inspiration from somewhere.

                Can you tellI'm from the Midwest?

                The best thing I'm wearing are the shades and they aren't even mine.

Hmm!  It was hot? I do like my hair!

              Hello girls!

                 Dont worry i already cut that long stringy mop on my head. Its much cuter now. Is it possible to meet your goal weight in the next few hours? Please God! Come on weight watchers. It's not fun getting dressed when you are chunky monkey and your old clothes don't fit. Ok, I need to give myself a break since baby E is only 2 months old. Weight loss is happening as we speak. I can tell because I'm starving. 

Thank you Courtney Kerr for inspiring me to actually care a little more about whatI wear. Now if I can just fit into some pants other than sweats I will be good.